Austria gets knocked down, but it gets up again and makes you sign a form

Trial the first: Be in Austria Legally

• IAESTE member gives me the address of the building where, he assures me, I can apply for my visa
• I show up at said building to find it locked. After several minutes of dictionary-flipping, I confirm that the sign on the door states that the office has moved across town.
• I show up at the new building, to find that the office closes at 12pm. It was then 12:20.
• I return to the new building the next morning, promptly at 8:00.
• After sitting in a dank waiting room for an hour and a half, my name is called to a room, the number of which I am not fast enough to translate from the loudspeaker. I am yelled at by an Austrian lady in the incorrect room, who eventually points me down the hall.
• After several minutes of sighing and paper shuffling, the even grumpier lady in the correct room speaks only enough English to grunt, "YOU ARE WRONG!", and point to an address written on a scrap of paper. She hands me my forms, and I leave.
• I consult with a different IAESTE member, since the one who originally gave me the (outdated and incorrect, anyway) address has since moved to Germany.
• After two or three days, I am informed that I should go to the address that Angry Grunting Lady wrote down.
• I arrive at this third location to find it friendly, well-lit, and staffed by smiling people who will condescend to answer my halting Engleutsch phrases politely.
• I have submitted my visa application!
• BUT
• I also must go to "register with the police".
• "Well, not quite the police...like the city police...they must know where you live."
• After speaking with some of the other interns, we discover that IAESTE has given us the wrong location again. Fortunately, native Austrians and long-term exchange students on our floor point us in the right direction.
• The next day, I am registered. Surely my status is unimpeachable now. But how will I be paid, unless I...

Trial the second: Obtain a bank account

• IAESTE member assures me that bank accounts are easy to obtain, and that he will fill out the paperwork for me
• Oh, but I have to bring a photocopy of my passport
• It's easy - we can do it at the IAESTE office. Drop by anytime!
• I drop by. The door is locked.
• I email the same person, telling him that I don't have a phone yet, and asking when someone will be in the office.
• "Oh, just come anytime. If the door is locked, call me."
• Several days later, I manage to arrive while someone is there. Photocopying ensues! I sign things! Everything is great!
• Two days later: "Your account is ready. You just need to go to the bank and sign the form. Be there at 12:00 tomorrow (Monday)."
• "Um, can I go in the morning? I have to work, and it takes about 40 minutes to get there from downtown."
  
• "I think that should be fine. Oh, and I guess I should tell you where the bank is?"
• I arrive at the specified address, not knowing the name of the bank, and find three banks side-by-side, all in the same buiding with the same address.
• "Guten Morgen! Ich bin Trainee mit IAESTE. Ich heisse Kari Zacharias..." [please be it, please be it, please be it]
• YES!
• 5 forms and 8 signatures later (not even joking), I have a bank account. But no bank card!
• "We will mail it to you. Then you come back to the bank to get your PIN."
• That is silly, but I don't care, because I have leapt over the two major hurdles, forded the two biggest streams. I have conquered Austria! I could kick Napoleon's ass right now. Surely now it will be simple to...

Trial the Third: Get my godforsaken phone working

• NO.
• I borrowed a phone from IAESTE somewhere in the middle of all the showing up at the office as much as possible. However, it needs a SIM card.
• Incidentally, cell phones are called "handys" here, which means that there is at least one phone store called "Handyland". I did not visit that one.
• At a store with a less creepy name, the nice man informs me that my phone is locked. I will need to get that dealt with - just not at this store.
• IAESTE advises me to find a small phone store. "They'll do it for 5 Euros."
• All the small phone stores are closed ALL THE TIME. Also, I work all day long.
• I am prevented for a week from finding a store during the hour or so window that exists between my arriving home from work and everything closing.
• Today: I found one! It is open!
• My phone apparently was jostled on in my bag, and now needs to be charged before unlocking.
• No matter! I got home early today - the store is open for at least another hour and a half.
• I return, half an hour before closing time, with a 3/4 charged phone.
• "Oh, I meant that you should leave it here and I can do it tomorrow. I don't have time tonight."
• "I'm sorry, I can't make it tomorrow. Do you know anywhere else near here I might be able to go?"
• "No."
• ANGRY CANADIAN TURNS IMPOLITE - MURDEROUS RAMPAGE ENSUES! NO MOBILE PHONE DEALER IS SAFE!

Next time, I'm moving to somewhere with no phones. And no forms. Maybe not even any paper.